I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
