Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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