i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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