I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
