if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
