Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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