i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
