how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
