he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
