Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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