yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
