I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
