he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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