Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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