**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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