oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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