ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
