Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
