i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
