the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
