I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
