I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
