I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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