I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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