got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
