Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize