bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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