I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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