You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
