She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
