I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
