I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
