he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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