I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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