Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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