I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
as a side note pls kill me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
