At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize