So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
MIDGETS
????
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
