just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
