I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
