That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
