I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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