found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
