Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
