wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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