maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
