Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
