Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
