Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
