I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You made out with two different species that night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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