Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
