So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
