I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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