I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
