I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
