So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
