I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
