Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
