OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize