I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
