im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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